Archive for the ‘08. Vayishlach’ Category

Wrestling in the dark

We find that Yakov while crossing a river at night, Yakov remains behind the rest of his family, and is accosted by Eisav’s guardian angel, which has many forms – Satan, the angel of death, the evil inclination etc:

וַיִּוָּתֵר יַעֲקֹב, לְבַדּוֹ; וַיֵּאָבֵק אִישׁ עִמּוֹ, עַד עֲלוֹת הַשָּׁחַר. וַיַּרְא, כִּי לֹא יָכֹל לוֹ, וַיִּגַּע, בְּכַף-יְרֵכוֹ; וַתֵּקַע כַּף-יֶרֶךְ יַעֲקֹב, בְּהֵאָבְקוֹ עִמּוֹ. וַיֹּאמֶר שַׁלְּחֵנִי, כִּי עָלָה הַשָּׁחַר; וַיֹּאמֶר לֹא אֲשַׁלֵּחֲךָ, כִּי אִם-בֵּרַכְתָּנִי. וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו, מַה-שְּׁמֶךָ; וַיֹּאמֶר, יַעֲקֹב. וַיֹּאמֶר, יַעֲקֹב לא יֵאָמֵר עוֹד שִׁמְךָ–כִּי, אִם-יִשְׂרָאֵל: כִּי-שָׂרִיתָ עִם-אֱלֹהִים וְעִם-אֲנָשִׁים, וַתּוּכָל. וַיִּשְׁאַל יַעֲקֹב, וַיֹּאמֶר הַגִּידָה-נָּא שְׁמֶךָ, וַיֹּאמֶר, לָמָּה זֶּה תִּשְׁאַל לִשְׁמִי; וַיְבָרֶךְ אֹתוֹ, שָׁם. – And Yakov was left alone, and a man grappled with him until daybreak. And when he saw that he could not overcome him, he struck his hip, and dislocated his hip, as he grappled with him. And he said, “Let me go, because dawn is breaking!” – but Yakov said “I will not let you go, until you bless me”. So he said to him, “What is your name?”, and he replied, “Yakov”. And he said, “No longer shall your name be Yakov, for your name is Yisrael, because you have mastery with God and men, and you have prevailed”. And Yakov asked, and said, “Now tell me your name?”‘ and he replied, “Why is it you ask for my name?”‘ and he blessed him there. (32:25-30)

Rashi explains how the word וַיֵּאָבֵק – to wrestle/grapple, comes from the word אבק, dust, called so for the dust that is kicked up when moving and grappling for leverage. There is a Midrash that the dust kicked up from this epic struggle, reached all the way to Hashem’s throne.

R Tzvi Meir Silberberg explains how this relates to all of our struggles. People think that Judaism is about results, an end product. Not so. It was the not the victory that went up to Heaven; that remained with Yakov. But the struggle, the dust kicked up, went straight up to Hashem.

No one is born perfect. We are human, and we struggle. It is the human condition, and it’s what we are here for.

It is apt that this struggle occurs at night, which is darkness, the uncertain, the unknown. When confronted with light, which is truth and reality, the night is dispelled. This angel has to leave at sunrise, to sing in front of Hashem.

The Gemara in Suka teaches how at the end of days, Hashem will slaughter the Satan, and the righteous will cry because they will see it as a mountain, and they don’t understand how they overcame it, but the evil will cry because it will be as if it were a hair, and lament their lack of control and discipline to resist it. The Yetzer Hara is subjective.

The Steipler compares this to someone who hasn’t seen their family in a long time, and is certain that when they meet, they will all be happy, and never argue or fight again. It will never last. The imagination stage is always better that the reality, because when reality hits, the illusions disappear.

The angel had to leave when confronted with reality, and Yakov asks for his name. He asks for his name. The angel seems to refuse a real answer, “Why is it you ask for my name?”.
R’ Leib Chasman explains that this is the essence of what it is – nothing. It cannot be defined, because it’s almost a reflection of ourselves. There is no answer to what is, just what we make it into.

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Angel Combat

כו. וַיַּרְא כִּי לֹא יָכֹל לוֹ וַיִּגַּע בְּכַף יְרֵכוֹ וַתֵּקַע כַּף יֶרֶךְ יַעֲקֹב בְּהֵאָבְקוֹ עִמּוֹ

26. “When he saw that he could not prevail against him, he touched the socket of his hip, and the socket of Jacob’s hip became dislocated as he wrestled with him.” (32:26)

The Yalkut Reuveni writes: “He saw that he couldn’t beat him, so he hit the socket of his hip” -  He (Esav’s angel) set his eyes on the descendants of Yaakov; this refers to Nadav and Aviyhu.

This Yalkut needs simple understanding. Why couldn’t the angel beat Yaakov because of Nadav and Aviyhu and what is the connection between them?

The Divrei Yosef explains with a hint of genius: Esav’s angel fought with Yaakov over the brachos that Yitzchak had blessed him. When Yitzchak blessed Yaakov, his intention was to bless Esav as the pasukim in P’Toldos explain. However, in actual fact, Yaakov received the blessings from his father. So the “machshavah”  (thought) indicated that Esav should receive the brachos, however the “ma’aseh” (action) indicated that Yaakov should receive the brachos. This was the argument between Yaakov and the angel of Esav.

Regarding the sin of the egel (golden calf), Rashi writes that because Aharon sinned, his two oldest children; Nadav and Aviyhu, died. However, in Vayikra  (32,5), Rashi writes that Aharon only took part in the egel to stall the rest of Bnei Yisroel, but he was still punished eventually.

Over there, Aharon’s intentions were good, but the actions themselves seemed bad, and overall he lost Nadav and Aviyhu, so we see that when “machshavah” and “ma’aseh” clash, we go after the “ma’aseh.”

If so, from Nadav and Aviyhu we have a proof that Yaakov was right, and he received the blessings from his father, because “actions speak louder than words.”

This is the pshat in the Yalkut, once Esav’s angel saw the death of Nadav and Aviyhu, he realised that he couldn’t beat Yaakov, because Yaakov was right, therefore he had to dislocate Yaakov’s hip socket.

The Yalkut asked, why did the angel especially hit Yaakov on his “kaf yeracho”?

He answers that the angel set his eyes on the “yotzei yerachoi” of Yaakov (those that stemmed from Yaakov’s loins); these are Nadav and Aviyhu. Therefore he specifically hit Yaakov at that spot.

The question is, what do Nadav and Aviyhu have to do with this fight, why does the passuk say that “he saw he couldn’t beat him” because of them? And the Divrei Yosef explains their interference in this fight, and this caused the angel to lose to Yaakov.

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The Dying Truth

(ויאמר אם יבוא עשו אל המחנה האחד והכהו והיה המחנה הנשאר לפליטה (לב:ט

[Yaakov] said, “If Esav comes to the one camp and strikes it down, then the remaining camp shall survive.” (32:9)

Rashi explains: “על כרחו לפליטה כו’ – Against [Esav’s] will, [the remaining camp] shall survive.” It is clear from Rashi’s comment that by splitting his camp in two, Yaakov was ensuring the survival of one of them. Even if Esav were to strike one down, the other would be free of his hurtful hand, and there would be nothing he could do to them.

The commentators struggle to interpret where Rashi knows this from. Is it not possible that Esav could wipe out both camps (chas v’shalom)?

The ספר גן רוה answer as follows: The Medrash says that the camps were situated a distance of one day’s journey from each other. Yaakov himself travelled along with the first camp. Now, Rivka said,”למה אשכל גם שניכם יום אחד – Why should I lose both of you in one day?” (27:45) Rashi there brings Medrash that she was relating a prophesy that Yaakov and Esav were to die on the same day. According to all this, if Esav were to kill Yaakov amongst the first camp, then Esav himself would have to die within the day before he was able to reach the second camp, a day’s journey away. This is what Rashi means that the second camp would survive against Esav’s will.

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An eighth of an eighth

There is a Gemara in Sota 5a says that it is good to be humble, and quantifies this as an eighth of an eighth (1/64). This is seemingly arbitrary as the number is random, and how would we measure 1/64th of arrogance to find the suitable degree of humility?

The Vilna Gaon (biography here) has classic answer, that the 8th pasuk in the 8th parsha (Vayishlach) says “קָטֹנְתִּי מִכֹּל הַחֲסָדִים וּמִכָּל הָאֱמֶת אֲשֶׁר עָשִׂיתָ אֶת עַבְדֶּךָ – I have become small from all the kindnesses and from all the truth that You have rendered Your servant” – on which Rashi elaborates ” קטנתי מכל החסדים : נתמעטו זכיותי על ידי החסדים והאמת שעשית עמי – I have become small: My merits have diminished because of the kindnesses and the truth that You have rendered me”. This is a classic answer to what the Gemara is referencing, that we should assume that our merits have become small and that we are not actually all that, considering all G-d has done for us.

The Koheles Yitzchak delves deeper into the number 64, and says that the Gemara in Megila 29 tells the story of how all the mountains spoke to G-d, as it were, and competed for the right to have the Ten Commandents given on them, and Mt. Sinai “won” the right, and we are informed that one of the mountains was call Tabor.

In a Gemara in Bava Basra 73, the measurements of Tabor are listed, that it was 4 parsa tall, which is 16 mil, and a mil is the distance a person can walk outside a poulated area on Shabbos – 2,000 amot (cubits), so 16×2,000 cubits = 32,000.

There is a Mishna in Midos 2:1 that says that Mt Sinai was 500 cubits high. 500 fits 64 times into 32,000, ie Mt Sinai was 1/64th as tall as Tabor, and it was selected.

There is a third answered suggested by the Maharsha (biography here), that the word for arrogance in Hebrew – גס - has the numerical value of 63. Being a part of something greater (1/64th) is the way we should perceive things.

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A Lame Excuse?

ויאבק איש עמו עד עלות השחר…ותקע כף ירך יעקב בהאבקו עמו – ‘and a man wrestled with him until dawn…and his hip-socket was dislocated when he wrestled with him.’

Once we are told that “a man wrestled with him”, isn’t the repetition – “when he wrestled with him” a little redundant?

The Ksav Sofer points out that Rashi gives two interpretations on the word ויאבק: firstly, the word is from אבק - dust – that they kicked up a lot of dust through their movements. Or שחבקו ואבקו בזרועתיו – that they were embracing with their arms (which is also an essential part of wrestling, of course).

The first interpretation is in line with the way that enemies fight with each other, whereas the second has echoes of the way that friends embrace. This is precisely what Chazal mean when they discuss Maaseh Avos Siman LeBonim. (This is a principle that ancestors leave imprints that repeat for their descendants)

There are two ways in which the enemies of the Jewish people try to bring them down (as is famously noted by Chazal in a number of a places – מיד אחי מיד עשו – he needed to be saved from both aspects of Esau as we are about to discuss). The first is by harsh decrees, pogroms, crusades etc. But what happens when they try this? You only need to hear what the Mossad agent who caught Eichmann (according to some – Isser Harel) stated that Eichmann said upon his capture - שמע ישראל ה’ אלקינו ה’ אחד – Shema Yisrael!

When questioned about how he knew this, he testified- as did many other Nazis, that it didn’t matter which type of Jew was in the gas chamber, this was the constant phrase on the lips of those holy martyrs. When oppressed, the Jew gets closer to G-d. This doesn’t work for our enemies. So they try another way – they befriend us, influence us, try to make us one of them. Through this, says the Ksav Sofer, they make us be פוסח על שתי סעיפים – straddling both worlds, so that we have one foot in both worlds and thereby are not totally part of either one, making us unable to walk properly…hence the limp This is the second interpretation of Rashi – because the initial wrestling did not work in overcoming us, they resort to the embrace. Unfortunately, history has shown the second method to be deadlier, as it distances us from G-d. Through this ותקע כף ירך יעקב – the point of the Bris is dislocated!

Amazingly, what follows is ויזרח לו השמש – the sun shone for him – i.e. after the dark period which equates to the harsh treatment of Galus, they attempt the sunshine or friendly treatment. This is the bit that damages us the most and we are פוסח על שתי סעיפים – in two places. And – this is the best part – it is this which indicates the inability to walk properly, or the limp. What are the words which follow ויזרח לו השמש? That he had a limp on his hip, the area of the Bris that signifies are relationship with G-d!

Incidentally, this explains the reason he asked to be saved “miyad achi miyad Eisav“, on the one hand the destroyer, on the other, his brother, how could he resist?

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What’s so special about Jewish children?

The Pasuk says “ה. וַיִּשָּׂא אֶת עֵינָיו וַיַּרְא אֶת הַנָּשִׁים וְאֶת הַיְלָדִים וַיֹּאמֶר מִי אֵלֶּה לָּךְ וַיֹּאמַר הַיְלָדִים אֲשֶׁר חָנַן אֱ־לֹהִים אֶת עַבְדֶּךָ – And he (Esau) lifted his eyes and saw the women and the children, and he said, “Who are these to you?” And he (Yakov) said, “The children with whom God has favored your servant.” (33:5)

Esau wasn’t a fool, he knew Yakov had his family and entourage with him. This is obvious, as he brought a small army with him to kill them all. So why then, does this conversation take the form of a chance meeting, as if it weren’t apparent who they were and what their connection to Yakov – the head of the family, was?

Clearly, there is something else afoot. The Chafetz Chaim says that Esau saw something different in these children, and he was correct for identifying this difference. They were the first Jewish children – we are Bnei Yisrael, and Yakov’s children were the first of the lot! He saw a difference in them from other children he’d encountered, and we need only look at Yishmael and Esau themselves to see how children behaved in that society, so naturally Yakov’s children owuld act differently.

The Chafetz Chaim explains that the answer to what made them different is in Yakov’s answer. He answered “אֲשֶׁר חָנַן אֱ־לֹהִים אֶת עַבְדֶּךָ – with whom God has favored your servant”. Why did it not say the normal word for giving – נתן, instead it says חָנַן. The Chafetz Chaim teaches us that there is something else to be learned here that what made these children different was the merit of חָנַן- the Roshei Teivos of the 3 Mitzvos only women can perform – חלה ,נר , נידה – the laws regarding the seperation of Challah, lighting Shabbos candles, and family purity. Yakov said within his reply to his brother what made his children special, that his wives observed these laws.

There are other interpretations of the נר part of observance, which just translates as light. The Sforno explains it to mean the light of Torah – it is a mother’s obligation to ensure her children know Torah – “v’al titosh Toras imecha“. How do we see this? There is a Gemara in Niddah which says that every baby in its mother’s womb has 2 things – an angel that teaches the baby the whole Torah, which it forgets at birth when the angel taps its lip, and a light above its head. We don’t see babies born with lights above their heads, so what does this mean? This means that the mother provided the circumstances through which the light of Torah shone on the child before its birth, and the mother is meant to nurture this “spark” into a full blown flame throughout the child’s life.

There is a short story told about R’ Yaakov Galinski and the Chazon Ish circa 1953, that explains us what the light of Torah does. They were walking together in the street at night, and were walking under streetlights. The Chazon Ish said “Wow!” every time he walked under a light, and his student, R’ Yaakov asked what was going on. The Chazon Ish obliged, and explained a phenomenal lesson. We are not meant to be arrogant people, but how does one work on this character trait if it is innate? The further away from the streetlight/light of Torah we are, the bigger your shadow appears. The closer we get to the streetlight/the light of Torah, the smaller we realise we actually are.

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