And You Shall Teach Your Children

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The laws of a Ben Sorer Umoreh, a rebellious son, are given in this week’s parsha:

יח. כִּי יִהְיֶה לְאִישׁ בֵּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה אֵינֶנּוּ שֹׁמֵעַ בְּקוֹל אָבִיו וּבְקוֹל אִמּוֹ וְיִסְּרוּ אֹתוֹ וְלֹא יִשְׁמַע אֲלֵיהֶם יט. וְתָפְשׂוּ בוֹ אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ וְהוֹצִיאוּ אֹתוֹ אֶל זִקְנֵי עִירוֹ וְאֶל שַׁעַר מְקֹמוֹ כ. וְאָמְרוּ אֶל זִקְנֵי עִירוֹ בְּנֵנוּ זֶה סוֹרֵר וּמֹרֶה אֵינֶנּוּ שֹׁמֵעַ בְּקֹלֵנוּ זוֹלֵל וְסֹבֵא כא. וּרְגָמֻהוּ כָּל אַנְשֵׁי עִירוֹ בָאֲבָנִים וָמֵת וּבִעַרְתָּ הָרָע מִקִּרְבֶּךָ וְכָל יִשְׂרָאֵל יִשְׁמְעוּ וְיִרָאוּ

18. If a man has a wayward and rebellious son, who does not obey his father or his mother, and they chasten him, and [he still] does not listen to them. 19. his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, and to the gate of his place. 20. And they shall say to the elders of his city, “This son of ours is wayward and rebellious; he does not obey us; [he is] a glutton and a guzzler.” 21. And all the men of his city shall pelt him to death with stones, and he shall die. So shall you clear out the evil from among you, and all Israel will listen and fear.

The Gemara in Sanhedrin 71a states that a Ben Sorer Umoreh never happened, and never will. Why is it in the Torah then? So that we will analyse it and be rewarded.

The underlying reason that a Ben Sorer Umoreh would ostensibly have a death sentence is that it is better for him to die innocent, than guilty of murder later in life. But the Torah sets an impossible condition – the parents have to be united in every regard that their son be sentenced to death -no parent would out themselves through this. Furthermore, the age at which Ben Sorer Umoreh applies is limited to the three months after his 13th birthday, he needs to have stolen a certain amount of meat, itself cooked a particular way, he needs to have drunk a certain amount of wine, all on his fathers property.

R’ Moshe Mordechai Epstein has great difficulty with the restrictions to the application of Ben Sorer Umoreh. Furthermore, the reward the Gemara discusses cannot be that we will study more Torah – that is not a reason to be in the Torah, in addition to which, even if it were left out, in a thousand years a person could not hope to complete the entire Torah – the Torah was not short on material that it needed “filler”. This compels him to conclude that the mitzvah of Ben Sorer Umoreh has a more subtle reward than the ability to just have more Torah to study.

By studying this episode, one discovers the Torah’s approach to parenting, to raise them correctly, and if they stray, how to correct them.

When a child is overindulged, it is detrimental to him and society. The Ben Sorer Umoreh is someone who is out of control from the outset of adolescence, and the Torah tells us to learn from it. This is what the pasuk means when it says ובערת הרע בקרבך, וכל ישראל ישמעו ויראו -destroy the evil in your midst, and all of Yisrael will see and fear. The Torah wants us to be balanced individuals, and not wild, carefree and selfish, and tasks us with preventing evil in our children, before it is too late. We should learn from the Ben Sorer Umoreh as the paradigm of what not to do – וכל ישראל ישמעו.

If I may, I would like to suggest that the Gemara itself hinted at this. The Gemara said that the function of Ben Sorer Umoreh was דרוש וקבל שכר – analyse it and receive reward. The Gemara did not say למוד, to study it, but דרוש, analyse it. This is itself וכל ישראל ישמעו, that we learn from the Ben Sorer Umoreh to raise balanced children.

Betzalel

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כב. וּבְצַלְאֵל בֶּן אוּרִי בֶן חוּר לְמַטֵּה יְהוּדָה עָשָׂה אֵת כָּל אֲשֶׁר צִוָּה יְ־הֹוָ־ה אֶת מֹשֶׁה

‘And Bezalel, son of Uri son of Hur, of the tribe of Yehuda, did all that Hashem commanded Moshe.’ (38:22)

The Torah tells us that Bezalel built the Mishkan according to the word of Hashem. Rashi points out that the Pasuk doesn’t say that Bezalel did what Moshe had commanded him to do, rather, he did what Hashem commanded Moshe on Har Sinai. Bezalel had already figured it all out.

Moshe commanded Bezalel to first build the Kelim (vessels/ furnishings) and then build the Mishkan afterwards. Bezalel says to Moshe that the custom of the world is to first build the house and then the furnishings. Moshe responds that he was right and Hashem had commanded him to first build the Mishkan and then the Kalim. Moshe then says ‘B’zal-al’ you were in Hashem’s shadow. (Gem. Brachos 55a)

All the Achronim ask, how could Moshe forget what was supposed to be done first? Moshe had just taught the Torah in its entirety (the day before, Yom Kippur, was the day he came down with the second Luchos and taught Kol Hatorah Kulah to Klal Yisroel except for the Parsha of the Mishkan since the Mishkan couldn’t be done on Yom Kippur) and now he forgets which was supposed to come first?

One could say that Moshe forgot the Halacha, but it would be very difficult to explain that Moshe forgot such a Pashut Din. We can’t say that Hashem never taught Moshe which one to build first because Moshe says clearly, ‘indeed Hashem commanded me to first build the Mishkan’. So what in the world is going on with this Medrash?

The Or Hachayim answers this question back in Parshas Teruma. The Pasuk says, ‘like all that I show you, the form of the Mishkan and the form of its vessels; and so shall you do. They shall make the Aron etc.’ (25:9)

The Or Hachayim explains (using various Medrashim) that Hashem showed Moshe an image of the Mishkan first, and then all of its vessels afterwards. After showing Moshe the overall blueprint He then went on to explain each one individualy starting with the Aron. So it becomes a bit more understandable that  Moshe was a bit confused about which one should come first as Hashem had showed him the Mishkan first, but when showing him how to build everything, he showed him the Aron first.

What did Hashem want to be built first? Moshe wasn’t entirely clear until Bezalel explained the logic of how Man always builds the house first. With Bezalel’s answer Moshe was able to understand what Hashem wanted to be built first and thus Moshe called Bezalel ‘Bzal-al’. (When Moshe said, ‘indeed Hashem commanded me to first build the Mishan’, he meant now I understand that Hashem truly wanted the Mishkan first)

The Levush Haorah explains this episode in a different way. (First he says anyone who says Moshe didn’t know the Pshat is wrong and doesn’t know anything etc.) He says that Bezalel and all Klal Yisroel were confused in how Moshe was teaching them how to build the Mishkan. In Parshas Terumah, which Moshe taught first, Moshe started by saying the vessels are to be built first (25:9). However, in Parshas Vayakel (35:10) he first says that the Mishkan should be built first. All of Klal Yisroel were listening to Moshe and they were confused, which one did he want first?

At that time Bezalel gets up and asks, ‘Moshe which one do you want us to do first, for it makes sense to build the Mishkan first etc’. Moshe then responds by saying that Bezalel is a great Chacham, one who knew the answer before Moshe had told him. Moshe didn’t forget or was confused, he was teaching and before he taught which one was supposed to be built first Bezalel jumped up and answered. Moshe didn’t do it in a confusing way, rather he was telling Klal Yisroel that the Aron was really supposed to be first because the main reason for the existence of the Mishkan was to bring the Shechina down to this world. The Shechina began with the Aron, meaning the Torah. (This is the pashut answer. If you have time I highly recommend seeing the Maskil Ledavid (one of the 11 commentators on Rashi) and the Gur Arye for other explanations on this piece.)

Deserving Honor

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ה. וַיְהִי בִישֻׁרוּן מֶלֶךְ בְּהִתְאַסֵּף רָאשֵׁי עָם יַחַד שִׁבְטֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל

5. And He was King in Jeshurun, whenever the sum total of the people were gathered, and the tribes of Israel were together (Devarim 33:5)

This Pasuk teaches us that Moshe was appointed King of Yisroel, ‘בְּהִתְאַסֵּף רָאשֵׁי עָם’, after the Torah was given on Har Sinai.

In the Parsha this week, Yisro comes to Klal Yisroel in order to convert, slaughters a certain offering to Hashem, and makes a lavish feast. Rashi (18:12) says that Moshe didn’t sit and eat during the feast, rather he stood and served everyone.

The Meshech Chachmah asks, how was Moshe able to be forgo his honor by serving the guests? A Rav or Nassi can forgo their honor, but a King can never forgo their honor (see Kedushin 32b)? He answers that there is a Machlokes Tannaim in regards to when Yisro came to Klal Yisroel. One says before Matan Torah and one says after (could even be after the Hashkamas Hamishkan). If Yisro came before Matan Torah then we don’t even have a question because Moshe was only King after Matan Torah. But, if we say Yisro came after Matan Torah then our question stands and how was Moshe able to be Mochel his kovod? Thus the Meshech Chachmah has to answer that according to the one who holds Yisro came after Matan Torah, then the aforementioned Rashi doesn’t exist, that Moshe never served during the meal and he really sat and enjoyed like a King.

The Meam Loez gives a different answer. Gem. Sota 31b says that Agripas Hamelech used to read the Torah on Hakel standing up in the Bais Hamikdosh. Everyone knows that the King is allowed to sit, but Agripas would still stand. The Chachamim said that Agripas was absolutely right and righteous for standing in the Bais Hamikdosh. The Gemerah asks, but Agripas was a King, so how did he forgo his honor? The Gemarah answers that a Mitzvah is different. Meaning that since a Mitzvah was being done (Hakel) Agripas was able to forgo his honor for the sake of doing a mitzvah. Tosofos there asks that we know a King can’t be Mochel his Kovod from a Gem. in Kedushin 32b. There it retells the story how Rav Gamliel (a Nassi) served his guests at a certain Seudas Mitzvah. The Gemarah asks, how can he be Mochel? In which it answers a Nassi can be Mochel his Kovod and that only a King cannot be Mochel. There the Gemarah was dealing with serving his guests at a seudas mitzvah and the Gemarah says that a Nassi can be Mochel, but a King, even by a Seudas Mitzvah, isn’t allowed to be Mochel. So what is the Gemarah’s answer that a King can be Mochel his Kovod if he is doing a mitzvah if the Gemarah in Kiddushin clearly doesn’t hold that way? Tosofos answers that to accomplish a regular mitzvah the King wouldn’t be able to be Mochel his Kovod, whereas a mitzvah which involves the Shechina to come a King could be mochel. Therefore Agripas was able to stand up in the Bais Hamikdosh for the Shechina was there.

The very next Rashi in the aforementioned pasuk 18:12 says that when you eat at a meal with talmidei chachamim its as if you benefited from the ”Ziv Hashchina” (Maharsha says for Torah will be discussed at such a meal. For another reason see Gur Aryeh). Now we have a pashut answer. The meal Moshe was serving was a meal hosting many Talmidei Chachamim. Thus the Shechina was at the meal, (as Rashi pointed out) and even if we were to say that Yisro came after Matan Torah, Moshe could still be Mochel his Kovod for the sake of the Mitzvah which involves the Shechina. (Only question is, why wasn’t the Shechina by the meal of Rav Gamliel? There it was a Seudas Mitzvah with Talmidei  Chachamim and yet only a Nasi was able to be Mochel, but not a King? A bit of a Tzarich Iyun. This question could be why the Meshech Chachmah didn’t want to answer like the Meam Loez.)

Timeless Lessons

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When the Torah discusses Shavuos, it says: וְהִקְרַבְתֶּם מִנְחָה חֲדָשָׁה לַה – You shall bring a new mincha offering to Hashem (23:16)

The Torah never refers explicitly to Shavuos or Rosh Hashana by their primary themes; Shavuos being the anniversary of receiving of the Torah and Rosh Hashana being the day of judgement. Why does the Torah overlook this?

The Kli Yakar explains that the answer for both is the same; learning Torah each day is a new experience, bringing a new understanding and deeper insight with it. A person cannot learn the Torah as a monotonous rote study with no freshness or renewal. It is incumbent upon each of us to feel each day as though this were the day we received the Torah at Sinai. Hashem did not see fit to call the day we receive the Torah one particular day a year; as each and every day we are able to receive the Torah from Sinai. Therefore the Torah limits the description of Shavuos to a day where “you shall bring a new mincha offering to Hashem” – because calling it the day we received the Torah is a disservice to the Torah and our responsibilities.

Similarly, Rosh Hashana described as a Yom Teruah – a day of blowing the Shofar. It is not called Judgment Day because we cannot feel as though we are held accountable for our choices and actions on just one day a year; as must though we could act as we pleased all year round, with intent to makes amends on Rosh Hashana. Not so. Rather, every day needs to contain the awareness and responsibility that our actions are scrutinized.

The Sforno gives an intriguing explanation for the absence of the mention of Matan Torah on Shavuos.

Matan Torah was not simply a stage on which the Bnei Yisrael received the Torah and were subsequently expected to follow its laws. Matan Torah was intended to be a stage where Klal Yisrael reached the zenith of spirituality, the absolute peak humanity was capable of reaching.

When Klal Yisrael clamoured for an idol, the Golden Calf, they made ultimate purity untenable. It was out of reach, lost. The first Luchos were lost forever, and with them the capabilities that we would never have an opportunity to achieve on our own. It is said that the first Luchos were literally unforgettable – no Torah would ever have been forgotten.

Matan Torah did not run not as expected, in effect we never had the complete Matan Torah, therefore the Torah cannot refer to Shavuos as “the day we received the Torah”.

Is there a hidur mitzva after the mitzva is done?

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There is a concept called hidur mitzva, which means that we enhance mitzvos we do to make them beautiful. Examples of this principle include using beautiful esrogim on Succos, using larger tefillin and arranging for a megillah to be written by the best scribe.

The basic mitzvah of Chanukah is that the householder will light one candle each night on behalf for all the residents. The next stage is where another candle is progressively lit as the holiday progresses. The ideal method of performance is where each resident lights progressively

The Brisker Rav quotes the Rambam as codifying the act of lighting in the singular, indicating his view that there is no such step as the final one mentioned above, and that therefore the best mitzvah one can do is for the householder (but not each member of the house) to light progressively, which Sefardi Jews do.

This is at odds with the Rema, whom Ashkenazi Jews tend to follow, who maintains that each person lighting is ideal.

What is the disagreement over?

The Gemara in Shabbos discusses a Bris Milah, where the Mohel realises afterwards that he has left a small piece of skin. There are two possibilities with this surgical error; one that leaves the baby considered uncircumcised, and the other does not matter, meaning the mitzvah has been fulfilled. The Gemara concludes that there is no need for the Mohel to repeat the Bris if it is the type which does not matter.

Rashi explains that it is only when the circumcision takes place on Shabbos that the Mohel does not return, but that on weekdays he would. The Rambam disagrees, and says the Mohel would not perform the operation again even on a weekday.

The Brisker Rav sheds light on the issue: after the time of the mitzvah has past, the mitzvah cannot be improved. There is no doubt that this is the case on Shabbos, where there is universal agreement that one does not break it for the hidur of removing the leftover skin, but the Rambam says that once the Mohel has finished the Bris, he cannot make it any more beautiful than it was, as the mitzvah has been completed and therefore gone.

The Rema and Rashi disagree, and say that yes, you can! This is the same difference with regard to lighting menorahs. The Rambam says that once the householder has lit, there is no further possibility for the rest of the household to perform a hidur, as the basic mitzva was already completed when the householder had lit the first light, so the hidur stops once he has lit additional lights. Any further attempts at beautification by doing more, eg everyone else lighting, are after the mitzva has passed, so are redundant.

Ashkenazim follow the opinion the Rema and Rashi, that we can enhance something after the main mitzvah has been completed, which is why each of us lights our own menorah.